Tope Bakare
Coupon King
Lagos-born accumulator addict. Once put a five-leg on a Tuesday afternoon Czech second division match. It nearly landed. He has not recovered. Treats every weekend like a final exam, every betslip like art.
Sports betting · Football banter · Lagos
The Lagos Coupon
Three Naija voices argue, one wins. Football, banter, betslips, only the week ahead. Fresh every Sunday at 9pm Lagos.
Latest episode
Episode 01: United vs Liverpool, and a coupon shaped like a CV
The Lagos Coupon launches with the biggest week in English football. Tope frames a betslip as art. Yemi explains why data wears no jersey. Bisi proves Boss Lady doesn't whisper. Plus three coupons of the week, a tactical prayer for the Super Eagles and the only podcast where La Liga is called a side dish.
Transcript
Episode 01, word for word
Cleaned up for reading. Audio is the canonical version, with the laughs intact.
TopeLagosians! Welcome to The Lagos Coupon! Three Naija voices, one shared trauma: bookmakers. I'm Tope Bakare, Coupon King, and yes, the king is broke this week, thank you for asking.
YemiI'm Yemi Okonjo, The Analyst. Tope, you are not the Coupon King. You are the Coupon Casualty.
BisiAnd I am Bisi Adeyemi, Boss Lady. I run a small business, two children, and one accumulator at a time. Last week's profit paid for school fees. Tope's coupon paid for nothing because it never landed.
TopeAh! Bisi! In my own podcast! On a Sunday! Where is the love?
BisiThe love left when your goalkeeper scored an own goal in the ninety-fourth minute. We buried the love with the coupon, Tope.
YemiHe framed the betslip. Hung it on his wall. I saw it.
TopeIt is art now! Suffering is art! Moving on, please. This week, the big one: Manchester United versus Liverpool. Saturday. Old Trafford. The match that decides whether my landlord gets paid.
BisiTope, please tell your landlord the match is not a payment plan.
YemiUnited's defence is a humanitarian crisis. The United Nations should send observers.
TopeUnited Nations to Old Trafford! Yemi, you are not okay!
BisiTheir centre-back pairing is two strangers who met in the tunnel. They didn't even exchange numbers.
TopeMet in the tunnel! Bisi, stop, my ribs!
YemiLiverpool by two. Take it to the bank, or take it to bets dot ng, whichever is closer.
TopeSee this man! Tipping Liverpool with a straight face. Yemi, are you wearing a red jersey under that shirt? Open the buttons! I want to see!
YemiI support data, Tope. Data wears no jersey.
BisiData is naked? In this Lagos heat? Make sense.
TopeData is naked! That is the title of the episode! Data is naked!
YemiMy coupon: Liverpool win, both teams score. Done.
TopeMine is greedier. United and Liverpool, both teams to score, over two-point-five goals, plus Salah anytime. I'm going to bets dot ng now, NEWBONUS, and praying.
BisiTope, that is not a coupon, that is a CV.
TopeA CV! I am applying for the position of broke man!
YemiSunday, La Liga. Atletico host Barcelona at the Metropolitano. The title quietly turns on this fixture.
TopeYemi, La Liga is a Spanish problem. Lagos has its own problems, please.
BisiSpeak for yourself. Some of us watch real football. With tactics. Not just shouting.
TopeReal football! Bisi, last weekend you screamed at the TV when Osimhen missed a header. Where was your tactic then?
BisiThat was prayer, Tope. Tactical prayer. Different category.
YemiTactical prayer. The Vatican should sponsor this podcast.
TopeSpeaking of our own, Super Eagles! Unity Cup, late May, London. Four nations. We are defending champions. Eric Chelle better not let us down.
BisiIf we don't win it again, I am cancelling jollof in this house. For one week. Punishment.
TopeBisi! That is a war crime! I am calling the United Nations!
YemiSame UN that is observing United's defence. They are very busy this month.
TopeThey are stretched! Okay, before we go, Coupon of the Week. Tope: United versus Liverpool, both teams to score, over two-point-five, NEWBONUS on bets dot ng. Yemi?
YemiAtletico to win or draw against Barcelona. One leg. No greed. Greed is how Tope ended up with art on his wall.
BisiMine: Liverpool to win, over two-point-five goals. And I'm doubling my stake because Boss Lady doesn't whisper.
TopeBoss Lady doesn't whisper! Lagosians, bets dot ng has every preview, every promo code. Naira deposits, real withdrawals. Tope Bakare.
YemiYemi Okonjo. Bet smart.
BisiBisi Adeyemi. Bet smarter. Eighteen plus only. Next Sunday, same chaos, fresh coupon. Bye!
TopeBye, Lagos!
The hosts
Three Lagos voices, three takes, one show
Yemi Okonjo
The Analyst
Ex-banker turned football tipster. Reads xG charts the way some men read newspapers. Refuses to use the word "vibes" on air. Plays the straight man so Tope and Bisi can play themselves.
Bisi Adeyemi
Boss Lady
Lagos businesswoman, mother of two, secret Real Madrid fan. Bets bold and bets correct. Will out-tactic both of these men on a slow Sunday and bring receipts. Speaks loudly, on purpose.
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